Rubbing Nina’s Bentley…

…another reason why I hate autocorrect.
Last month, I was in Wisconsin Dells at a statewide training for the Day Job (and I may blog about that later because it was more fun than it sounds). To cheer me from being away from home, as well as to keep me awake and help make my sanity checks, Brian (the World’s Greatest Husband) texted me, often with pictures of our critters. At one point in a terrible seminar on Time Management, the presenter showed a slide with a dog. I texted Brian a picture with the caption, “Nibbler is calling me big time!” Brian texted back, “He misses his mama, and Nina says this Bentley ain’t going to rub itself.”

He meant belly/belleh, but that’s autocorrect for you. We had an interesting time telling this story to Prince Mekhi and explaining that a Bentley is a luxury car. Then I had to explain the word “luxury” to Mekhi. The kid has had a challenging life in his nine years.

Speaking of the Dogs
I finally gave up on trying to give Nibbler and Nina baths. It’s easier to pay someone to do it. A pet store on Main Street in Sun Prairie (two blocks from our house) had an excellent pet groomer. She’d cut Nibbler’s fur in such a way that his butt was covered, but poop wouldn’t get in his fur. Unfortunately, she had a family emergency earlier in the year, so we had to find a different groomer. Found one that is good and not as expensive, but not as skilled as the previous groomer, who used to give Nibbler the dog equivalent of a Brazilian.

Nibbler is such a mama’s boy; he’ll plop himself on me to make sure I don’t get out of bed. Wouldn’t be so bad except that he lies on me with his tail wagging in my face. Hey, so long as he doesn’t fart…

Earlier in the year our insurance agent sent us a letter regarding home coverage we might want to consider; we had a good laugh over the “jewelry and furs” suggestion because Brian only can buy jewelry for me from the Packers Pro Shop or Think Geek.com, and our “furs” are three cats and two dogs!

Speaking of Gifts
I started my Christmas shopping on December 1st. For the record: Even though I am a Pagan who does a Yule ritual every year, and Brian is an atheist; we still celebrate Christmas, albeit with a Jewish vibe on December 25th proper. Our first married Christmas, I almost gave Brian a flannel shirt. When I showed it to him, he admitted how much he hates to receive practical gifts for Christmas. My mother gave us clothes, including underwear, for Christmas (from “Santa”) as well as items like deodorant in our stockings. Because my birthday is at the end of August, she frequently gave me school supplies. Happy effing birthday. Since that first Christmas, Brian and I have a “no practical gifts” rule that is sacrosanct.

So, what do we do for the holidays?
Prince Mekhi spends the night with us on December 23rd, and we decorate the tree together (in fact, Mekhi and I already are counting down the days with a Star Wars Lego Advent Calendar). On Christmas Eve morn, Mekhi opens his presents from us (Mom #1 raised all her children with the truth about Santa Claus, but she is okay with whatever we give to Mekhi). Then Brian and I drop off Mekhi at Home #1 before we have supper with my wonderful in-laws in Janesville.

Christmas Day is similar to Thanksgiving in that we usually do our own thing. In this case, we order Chinese food to be delivered and sometimes go see a movie. I already bought tickets to Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens.

Boxing Day traditionally is not a holiday in the USA, but December 26 is my late mother’s birthday. My siblings and I sometimes get together, usually at a restaurant in the aforementioned Dells. I let my siblings make the plans because I’ve had an easier time herding cats than I have planning anything with my siblings. I think the last time Brian and I were a priority in the lives of my siblings was our wedding day in July of 1991.

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

WGH: Why don’t we build forts in bed?
Me: Because the dogs hog all the blankets.

Thanksgiving was Damn Near Perfect

As I mentioned before in this blog, Brian and I do Thanksgiving very differently at Castle Curley: we stay home, in our pajamas, cook our own meal, that we share with the critters, watch football and/or movies at our whim, and do not have guests unless they adhere to our strict dress code: they must wear pajamas, or at least something very comfortable like an old sweat suit.

Brian likes to get up early to have a cup of coffee and read comic books to ease into the day. He started the herbed bread in its machine, along with topping it with an Italian cheese blend. I slept in until the puppies woke me at pee-o’clock (yes, that is a specific time; ask anyone owned by dogs).

Due to the fact that the stove that came with our beautiful old house was avocado, and thus about as old as I am, and it no longer had any functioning oven door handles, we used some of the money we borrowed from the Bank of Dad (more on that in a later entry, but we had some emergency roof repairs) to buy a new stove. The first time we used it, I bombed making gravy (don’t ask; probably just too much fat). On Thanksgiving, Brian used the stove and the oven to cook the gravy (packet) and bird (turkey breast) and pie (can of Libby’s).

The only thing made from scratch is the pie crust because my family has an easy recipe that even I can’t mess up. I use the microwave for the Stove Top stuffing and instant mashed potatoes (with some minced onion added in for extra flavor).

We had to put the plates for the dogs in separate rooms, otherwise Nina would have eaten both plates of turkey. The plate for the cats went on the secretary in the foyer that the cats can jump on, but the dogs can’t reach.

We were surprised during the football games that the Detroit Lions were so dominant over the Philadelphia Eagles. As much as I hate to root for the Dallas Cowboys, I was hoping they’d beat the Carolina Panthers for what Cam Newton did to a Packer fan’s sign earlier in the season. Didn’t happen. As is our tradition, neither Brian nor I saw the second half of Cowboys game due to a nice, long nap.

The only bad item to the day was the Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers. The Packers had a nice half-time celebration to retire #4 in honor of Brett Favre, but unfortunately my team (yes, I am a shareholder) lost. 

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

“A game that requires the constant conjuring of animosity.” – Vince Lombardi, On football, New York Times (10 Dec 1967). Which, in my opinion, makes it perfect for Thanksgiving. – L.

Jack Black and I have one thing in common…

…a birthdate.

At the Day Job, people bring treats for their birthdays, like we did when I was in grade school. Traditionally, I bake my mother’s cinnamon roll recipe, and even though I had all the ingredients, Thursday night I didn’t really feel like baking. Instead, I decided to stop off at the People’s Bakery in the morning for some doughnuts.

Friday morning, I almost forgot it was my birthday until I checked my e-mail during my morning routine. Brian, the World’s Greatest Husband (WGH), sent me two books from my Amazon.com wish list: Night Watch and Day Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko et al from the World of Watches series. We saw the film Night Watch based on the first part of the same-named novel years ago, and Brian keeps telling me to expand my reading from the books I’ve read ad nauseum, so I put the entire series on my wish list.

My only sincere wish for my birthday each year is for one person to say happy birthday to me without a reminder from me, so I was glad when I received an e-mail from my Best Friend Betsy RN MSN wishing me a happy birthday. Even though Bets looks a lot younger than I do (and neither of us looks like we’re in our mid-forties), she is older than me by six months and two days.

Brian forgot to wish me a happy birthday until I reminded him to stop at the People’s Bakery, but that’s okay: he already sent me gifts (and one more is on the way); plus, as I keep reminding him, every day with him is the best gift ever. The bakery not only was generous with the two-dozen doughnuts, but I also bought some doughnut holes.

In fact, Brian was concerned about how he was going to top last year’s birthday: the Packers played their last pre-season game at Lambeau on my birthday proper. He bought tickets from a colleague, and we had a marvelous time. Plus, I splurged on myself and bought the unaltered theatrical releases of the Original Star Wars Trilogy (in other words, Han shot first).

At the Day Job, I sent the e-mail:
It’s Jack Black’s Birthday… (DOUGHNUTS!)
…which happens to be the same date as mine.
To celebrate turning 28 (for the 19th time; you do the math), I brought in doughnuts and doughnut holes from the People’s Bakery. Goodies can be found on the fifth floor between columns B9 and B10.
Remember: the more you eat, the less I gain!
-Lori
The doughnuts were gone before noon, and I ate the last doughnut hole for dessert for my lunch.

I was mildly disappointed that Google didn’t have a birthday Doodle for me, as they have in the past. Oh, well. No big deal.

After work, I took a nap because I was tired and it was MY birthday, dammit. Though I did tell the WGH to wake me in time for dinner. I debated between the Nitty Gritty, a local birthday bar that I hadn’t been to for my birthday since my mid-twenties, or the Market Street Diner, where I would receive a free birthday cake from Carl’s Cakes. Ultimately, I decided upon the latter because my acid reflux was acting up, and I didn’t want to exacerbate it with bar food.

Even though I wanted to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon II: The Green Legend on Netflix that night, I decided I just wanted to go to bed early. Yes, I’m getting old. Besides, when I just looked up the hyperlink, it says the movie still has yet to be released.

Saturday evening, as Brian and I watched the debacle that was the Packers preseason game three and at the cake from Carl’s, the WGH lamented that this year’s birthday was no comparison to the grandeur of last year’s. I told him that was fine. I don’t have to have a big to-do every year for my birthday. He can make a fuss when I turn 50 because I want a big red hat party.

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

“There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.” – Dave Barry

 

Weekend Wonderful…

… but still too short.

Friday/Ladies Night Out
My Best Friend Betsy RN MSN and I try to get together once per month, but it typically works out to about 3-4 times a year. Friday night we met at Saigon Noodles on the west side of town, and had a lovely time. Of course, she told me more stories of her three children. B., the middle child and oldest boy, is very smart; but doesn’t always do his homework, preferring to coast on his intelligence. Betsy made him attend summer school, which he hated. As she told me this story, she reminded me that she doesn’t wish to be offensive, but B. complained about the stupid kids in his class “who have to wear helmets;” i. e.: they have physical and developmental disabilities. Betsy reminded him that it was his fault he was in summer school by stating that “stupid people” included him because he didn’t do his homework. Betsy’s youngest A. asked her if he would have to go to school in the summer, and she said only if he didn’t do his homework. “Good,” he said, “I don’t want to go to helmet school.”

Okay, Betsy and I can chuckle at this because 1. I have epilepsy, and 2. A. is a medically fragile kid who was born with a congenital heart defect, since corrected.

Saturday/Mekhi’s Blue Belt Test
To recap: Mekhi has been taking American Tae Kwon Do lessons at Kicks Unlimited in Sun Prairie since December 2013. This past weekend, he tested for the next belt in the progression: blue, and he’s about halfway to his black belt. During tests in the past, Brian has tried very hard not to cry because he is so proud of Mekhi (and I forgot to put extra tissues in my purse). Lisa/Mom #1 and I are proud, too, and take plenty of pictures during the belt tests (though hers turn out much better than mine).

Saturday’s test included a module test for those going for a second- or third-degree black belt, which included using and wooden and padded swords. When Brian told me the name of the wooden sword, I thought it was spelled “Bokun”; nope; it was Bokken. Go ahead and Google the first word, but know that the Urban Dictionary definition is NSFW.

After the tests were complete, some of the instructors gave inspirational speeches. One, who has lost over seventy pounds since the beginning of the year, talked about reaching a plateau and how to go beyond that. At first I thought he was talking about a Fat Toe; maybe I need to have my hearing checked again.

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

“If you don’t get the ‘Leather Bear’ thing, remember to put safe search on when you Google.” – R.K. Milholland “Something Positive”

The Giant Banana Was Getting a Bit Fresh With Me…

…because I was standing in the shade of the booth where said stuffed banana could be won.

The World’s Greatest Husband (WGH) wanted to go to the Wisconsin State Fair this year, so I made all the arrangements. I paid $20 (twice the normal rate) for a preferred parking spot, and I obtained over $100 in ones because I know vendors at such places always need ones, having been a vendor myself once upon a time. Plus, we asked Mom #1 if we could take Mekhi, and of course she and our son said yes.

Our parking spot was literally across a frontage road from the main gate that one sees from the highway. Going to the fair on a Thursday also meant shorter lines everywhere (worth the day of vacation). Spin City – the midway part of the fair – was the first area just inside the gate, and we wisely bought a wrist band for unlimited rides for Mekhi. Unfortunately, the wrist band didn’t include the games, so we paid an extra $20 for 25 game/ride tickets (in case Mekhi wanted us to go on a ride with him; we didn’t because he used all the tickets for playing games). The only item he won was a big red rubber ball with a smiley face on it. The preferred parking spot paid off when the WGH took it back to the car rather than lug it around the fair all day.

After a morning round of rides, we needed something to eat. The boys ate food at the midway, but I chose to wait until we arrived at the “Wisconsin” part of the state fair, knowing of the goodies yet to come. Mekhi didn’t finish his (huge) slice of pizza, and Brian’s Philly cheesesteak wasn’t good (doesn’t help when we’ve actually been to Philadelphia and had our first cheesesteaks from one of the places that invented the sandwich).

In the Youth Expo Hall, we saw many crafts and displays from members of 4-H, the FFA, and Boy and Girl Scouts. Stars hanging from the expo roof showed pictures of famous alumni such as Tom Wopat, who was a member of FFA, and John F. Kennedy of the Boy Scouts. I didn’t see any stars with Girl Scouts alumnae, but I paid more attention to the beautiful displays. A group onstage was performing Disney’s Frozen, and the WGH didn’t like it too much when Mekhi and I sang along to “Let It Go” and “In Summer.”

We stopped in the coliseum where youth were participating in the Beef Showmanship – Junior Show. We explained to Mekhi that the young people wearing the numbered race bibs were showing off the cattle that they worked hard to raise, and they were hoping to win a ribbon.

I wanted to bring Mekhi to the state fair not only for the fun rides, but for the educational offerings available. In the Wisconsin Products Pavilion, I told Mekhi that Wisconsin doesn’t just produce beer and dairy products. We also make honey and wine; grow cranberries, ginseng, apples, potatoes, and corn; and raise lambs, goats, and pigs; among a whole variety of other goodies. Brian wished he hadn’t eaten that cheesesteak and waited for the better offerings in this pavilion. I enjoyed a huge caramel apple without the nuts.

As we walked further south, the various hawkers showed off their wares. One booth was the “let me guess your weight or age” contest, and I muttered under my breath, “I don’t want you to guess my weight.” One food truck offered jerky made from a variety of meats and sponsored by PETA: the “People Eating Tasting Animals.” I wanted to teach Mekhi the meanings behind the Wisconsin State Fair Logo (how it represents all four seasons in our home state), but by then he wasn’t in a mood for another lesson.

I searched for the Horticulture, Craft, and Culinary Pavilion, but it was hidden behind a crowd watching a street performer. We went in the Exposition Center, but when I realized it was just a room full of vendors, I decided to leave to look for the right place. I left Brian and Mekhi to watch the street performer while I quickly viewed the beautiful works of quilts, sketches, sauces (one company was called “Get Sauced”), vegetables and fruits.

The Wisconsin State Fair makes the best cream puffs in the world IMHO, and the Original Cream Puff Pavilion also included fudge, strudel, ice cream, and other sundries. The line for the cream puffs wasn’t very long, moved fast thanks to the staff, and included viewing windows to see how the pastries are made. Brian and I each enjoyed a huge cream puff (Mekhi ate some of mine, too), and sat in the Major Goolsby’s tent so we could eat with both hands.

Mekhi really wanted a caramel apple like I had earlier, so we worked our way back north to the midway. Along Dairy Lane, we passed a stall offering pony rides. $8 was a bit expensive, but worth every penny to give Mekhi his first ride ever on a horse. Then he wanted to go into the Badgerland Financial Discovery Barnyard, which was a lot of fun. Mekhi played with toy dump trucks in boxes of oats, corn, or soybeans. Then he saw baby chicks and quails coming out of their eggs. Although the signs indicated that the animals were not to be petted, one of the volunteers at the exhibit permitted Mekhi to pet a goat. In fact, the affection-sponge goat insisted on being petted. We also saw a cow with a calf, two baby lambs drinking milk from their mama’s teats, same with a group of pigs, and Mekhi also played a pig commodity game. Fun.

On our way back north, we passed the coliseum again where we saw the cattle judging events. Horses were lined up to go inside, and Mekhi got to pet one of them on the nose. Afterward, Mekhi said the horse licked him “about 5000 times.” We were stopped by the state fair security people to let a line of cows pass through, and one of the cows dropped some true “cow pies.”

Back at the midway, Mekhi had fun picking as many rides as he wanted. He finally screwed up his courage to go on a ride that went upside down, in fact riding that a couple of times. I ate some chocolate-covered strawberries on a stick while we watched our son. Brian noted that one of the warning signs said that people who are “exceptionally sized” may not be able to go on that particular ride, and I thought that was a lovely euphemism for those of us who are too fat.

Again, the preferred parking spot paid off in that I didn’t have to walk a long distance back to our car on my very, very tired and aching feet. Brian said that when we come next year, we’ll have to plan our food eating better. I told him that the state fair website has lists for that, as well as a mobile app, of course.

As we drove home, Mekhi had fun playing with his big red ball by putting Brian’s straw grass fedora on top of it or putting the ball in front of his own head. We had a great day as a family.

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

“If Mekhi’s not puking by the end of the day, we’re not doing something right.” – me, discussing our trip. Mercifully, Mekhi did not puke.

Fricking Fabulous

My Mother’s Day gift for myself this year was an R2-D2 flared dress from Think Geek.com. When they advertised a red sheath dress with the twin suns of Tatooine on it, Brian, the World’s Greatest Husband (WGH), encouraged me to buy it.

The WGH and his classmates from high school (along with my brother Fran and his wife Tammy) hit the big 5-0 this year. I’m planning a party for the WGH; Fran already had a dinner at a local Famous Dave’s, and the WGH’s best friend Todd had a fun party where all the guests were encouraged “to kiss Todd anywhere.” I chose his beautifully bald noggin.

Saturday was the birthday party for Chris, one of the WGH’s high school friends, at a friend’s home near Minneapolis. Not knowing how long the party would last, we reserved a hotel room close to the house.

I tried on the red sheath suns dress, but even the WGH agreed it was too tight, so I changed into the R2D2 flare. I looked adorable in it, despite my hefty size. We tried taking the dogs to a local kennel, but the place wouldn’t let them stay without the kennel cough vaccine. One emergency phone call to our friends Ed and Sarah Jean, and our puppies were happily playing with their puppies.

My cell phone bill probably is going to be huge next month due to roaming charges. The trip to Minneapolis is easy from Madison, Wisconsin; but once there, I used my phone’s GPS and Google Maps to locate our hotel and the party. Didn’t help when Sarah Jean kept texting me photos of my dogs playing with her family. I thought Nibbler only smiled that way for me.

Because the party was potluck (I love potluck parties: so economical, so down-to-earth, and a much better variety of foods available), we planned on buying our dish to pass at a local market. After we checked into our hotel (and received a “think about us” message from our puppies when the hotel key card had a picture of a dog on it), Brian re-read the e-vite which suggested bringing lawn chairs as well. Oops. A Costco was on the way, so we shopped there. Found two pasta salads that would be perfect, but their lawn chairs were either way too expensive or had Vikings or Golden Gophers logos on them. Sorry, but that is an absolute NO for anyone at Castle Curley. Seeing my dress, a fellow customer stated I looked “fricking fabulous!” and our cashier made me go to another cashier to show off my outfit.

When we arrived at the house, we noticed they had a Vikings canopy over part of the backyard. Well, me and my Packer tattoo didn’t burst into flames walking under it, but I didn’t take too many chances. I also didn’t take any chances with the 2×4/life-sized version of Jenga set up outside; I am a klutz in the extreme. The day was hot, so I spent most of the party indoors, where the birthday boy was playing Dominion with some of his guests. We’re talking a group of gamers, members of the Society for Creative Anachronism, and other varying flavors of geekdom. My R2D2 dress was a hit. We ate and chatted and had a lovely time, especially when two of the three critters (a dog and a cat, the other cat was hiding under a bed) came up to us for attention. Yes, we missed our canine and feline children very much.

We left earlier than we thought we would and could have driven home that evening, but we figured since we had the hotel room, we’d stay and enjoy the Twin Cities. We headed to The Source Comics and Games, where they have an excellent Munchkin collection, among a wide selection of games, comics, and other nerd paraphernalia. I’ve found more than one item for my collection that is out-of-print, but when a fellow customer was asking me about the game, I thought it ironic that The Source didn’t stock the base game.

We went in search of something to eat, and even though we saw “Gas-Food-Lodging” signs for restaurants, Brian proved to be a little navigationally challenged because the signs didn’t tell us which way to turn upon leaving the highway. Again, my Google Maps Fu saved the day, but I only can navigate with a GPS; never from memory. Finally after almost giving up, Brian found what he was looking for: the ubiquitous Taco Bell.

In the morning, we headed home at our leisure, listening to the “Ken and Robin Talk About Stuff” podcast along the way. When I wasn’t re-reading my journals of the past year for the Annual Review (more on that in a later entry), I was fighting falling asleep. We made at least one stop an hour to keep us both awake and safe.

When we picked up Nina and Nibbler from Ed’s house, their dogs Pedro and Lady Chatterley did not want us to take them. Sorry, but I cannot go so long without my puppies!

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

“Shut up and let Brian drive.” – my inner voice every time I wanted to tell Brian he was going the wrong way

 

24 Years Ago:

To try some semblance of “tradition”, I spent the night at my parents’ house, despite the fact that Brian and I had been living together pretty much since our engagement a year-and-a-half prior. I woke up at my leisure instead of really effing early to let my hair dry like my Aunt Jean/hairdresser requested. It was MY wedding day, dammit. Besides I am not a morning person. Then I realized that I was alone at the house because everyone else was at the church already doing day of prep stuff for the wedding. Did anyone remember that the BRIDE needed a ride to the church because she didn’t have a driver’s license? This being 1991 was well before everyone had a cell phone.

Someone remembered, probably my father, and at the church/school’s cafeteria I had a nice brunch with my bridesmaids while my groom and his side of the wedding party went golfing. When it came time to get dressed, I couldn’t find my dress. Thinking this was some prank from someone in my family (my family tree is one of the nut varieties), I ran around searching for my dress in the kitchen, pantry, and stage of the school’s gym, where I was getting dressed. Unfortunately, my Uncle Joe snapped a picture of me dressed in nothing but my body girdle.

Dress found, hair done, and I asked Aunt Jean to accentuate my eyes when she did my make-up, as the bridal magazines suggested. She reminded me that she only did hair, and wasn’t a make-up artist, but I trusted her implicitly.

Despite everyone’s best efforts, Brian and I did see each other very briefly; but I ducked, and he was escorted to some locked area of the building until it was time. I should have remembered that the superstition of not seeing each other before the ceremony harkened back to the days of arranged marriages when a bride and groom met on their wedding day. Silly.

Poppy (aka, my dad) escorted me down the aisle because I was a “daddy’s girl” and I wanted someone to catch me if I tripped. I didn’t, but I knew what would have happened if I did: my groom and my father would have led the congregation in applause. Years later when I confessed this biggest wedding day fear to my husband, he agreed that would have been his response.

My first thought upon seeing my groom was, “Oh, he shaved his beard.” His first thought, “Too much make-up,” which was correct considering I usually don’t wear any. However, his first words to me were, “You look beautiful.” I was too nervous to respond.

Thank the Gods Brian insisted on not having a full mass; thus the ceremony only was twenty minutes. The a/c was insufficient for the day, and I wore my mother’s wedding gown of lace and taffeta. At one point during the reception, I complained about how much I was sweating. One of my guests said, “Brides don’t sweat; brides glow.” I replied, “Well the ‘glow’ has been dripping down my back since midway through the ceremony.”

I had one plate of food that I did not finish, and only one piece of cake of the thirteen available to our over 400 guests. My brother Fran tried to get me to say where Brian and I were spending our wedding night, and I automatically and honestly replied that we hadn’t made any hotel reservations due to fearing shenanigans from my numerous relatives, who had a reputation for that type of behavior. Unfortunately, it took us a long effing time to find a room available, and when we did, we paid in cash from the envelopes in the card box.

In the worst hotel room we’ve ever stayed in (and mercifully the place has been refurbished since), we opened our cards and took the money to the hotel safe. Before we left the room, we cranked the a/c, opened all the curtain that was turn and the window that had no screen despite us being on the tenth floor, and left for some gyros because we were starving.

Whenever anyone tells us they are getting married, we have the same advice: elope. I add that one’s wedding day will not be wonderful because you’ll be in an effing fishbowl all day. A good marriage will make every day for the rest of your life wonderful, and that’s what Brian and I have.

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

From Brian:

24 years ago:

I was anxiously awaiting my wedding that afternoon. Like some sort of animal I was being penned in a smaller and smaller section of the church/school where said wedding was to take place while my soon-to-be-wife was allowed free run of the place. I had to be aware of where she was going while she did not seem to have to have the slightest idea of where I was. It was like the Scarecrow scenes in Batman: Arkham Asylum. If the light of her radiance shown on me, I would die.

As fun as that sounds, it wasn’t. So I was fairly stressed by about Noon or so. When I went to trim my beard, I accidentally left it set at moustache length and carved a big old stripe right up to my chin. I wore a full beard in those days (kind of like now when I’ve gotten too lazy to shave) so it was *REALLY* noticeable. It was like the beard version of a reverse Mohawk.

Well, nothing for it but to shave the whole damned thing off. But hey, there’s an idea, let’s just keep the moustache. It totally didn’t look like a 70’s porn ‘stache. Totally.

The rest of the day is largely a blur. Discovering that no one had thought to turn the AC in the church on until about an hour before the ceremony. Standing in a two hour receiving line (400+ guests). Getting approximately 1 ham sandwich at the reception (have I ever mentioned how I generally don’t like ham). And not a single slice of cake.

By the time we left the reception my tuxedo shirt was a wet, smelly rag that really should have just been tossed into a trash barrel and burned. And we had *no* hotel room. My idea, remember I was 25… I knew *EVERYTHING*, was that if we didn’t know where we were staying, no one else could either. Thus, wedding night shenanigans. Three hours later we’re in the worst hotel room ever (in one of the fanciest hotels in town) and starving. We walked down to the Parthenon and had gyros. My lovely bride was barefoot since I had forgotten her flats and she’d been in heels all day. Still probably the best gyro I’ve ever had.

Today: Woke up at 4am to discover my bathroom ceiling leaks.

Happy Anniversary Lori.

Happy Anniversary to you, too, Brian.

-L.

 

Party Planning

This Saturday is the Annual Independence Day Party at Castle Curley. Even though I’ve done very little prep work for it, about fifteen years’ experience has shown that I could run this party in my sleep. I’m not worried; I expect to have a lovely time; and Brian, Prince Mekhi and I are planning on going somewhere fun on Sunday.

Next year’s party, however, will be quite different. In 2016, Brian (aka the World’s Greatest Husband (WGH)) and I will celebrate our silver wedding anniversary: 25 years of wedded bliss. The WGH and I want to have a big party, inviting as many people as possible, especially those from our wedding. Planning more than a year in advance means I won’t have to worry about the cost too much because we can save up money between now and then. No, the big problem is the party/wedding anniversary industry.

Google “Silver 25th Anniversary” and you will find a lot of beautiful, elegant crap; especially if you click on “Images.” Then ask yourself: does this reflect Brian and Lori? The answer is a roaring “NO!” When we’ve actually done something special for our wedding anniversaries in years prior (typically, Thanksgiving is a more important holiday at Castle Curley), it’s been going to a “Weird Al” Yankovic concert for our third anniversary; going to a Packers Tailgate Party for our fifteenth anniversary; or going to the Parthenon on State Street for gyros on any anniversary because we did that late on our wedding night after we checked in to our hotel. We had a party for our tenth anniversary at a park shelter in Madison, but otherwise, we have celebrated our anniversary in non-traditional ways.

As I started thinking of our Silver Party and our unique nature, I looked to many party sites for ideas. Maybe a Tolkien–Hobbit–Lord of the Rings theme? The WGH loves these books and I thought maybe guests could dress up as their favorite characters. Brian nixed the idea and rightly.

So, I thought of other ideas: a big tent with lots of lighting to play games all day and well into the night. Cakes from Carl shaped and decorated like some of our favorite games: Dungeons and Dragons, Settlers of Catan, Munchkin, Mansions of Madness, and (of course) Cards Against Humanity. Perhaps gyros for lunch (see above, re: Parthenon on our wedding night), and a pig-roast for supper.

Yes, I want a few elegant touches such as some Silver/25th Anniversary balloons and decorations. I really wanted Jordan almonds at our wedding, but they weren’t in the budget; so I’ll probably have them as party favors. For overall theme, however, I’m drawn more to Think Geek than Party City or even Oriental Trading Company.

When the WGH and I married in 1991, I looked through tons of invitation books and again thought they were all crap. Thank the Gods that I have graphic arts skills, so I designed our wedding invites and RSVPs. Now I’ll probably have to do the same with our Silver Anniversary Party.

In the meantime, have a fun and safe Independence Day this weekend; and if you want an invite to the Curley Silver Anniversary Party in 2016, e-mail me with your contact info: lorianncurley at gmail dot com.

Pog ma thoin!
-Lori

Me: “Are you as happy as I am?”
WGH: “I don’t know; I’m not married to me.”

Holidays at Castle Curley…

…where Geekdom reigns supreme.

For the uninitiated, Brian and I refer to our home as Castle Curley (CC) because of the old saying “a man’s home is his castle.” Brian (the World’s Greatest Husband (WGH)) is the King of CC; I am the queen; and all the critters are princes and princesses. Mekhi, too, is a Prince of CC, and his Mom #1 is a duchess.

We have a very different view of the holidays here at Castle Curley. Closer to the end of the year I’ll give you more information on the major holiday season, but let’s talk about this time of year for now:

Valentine’s Day vs. Gamemaster’s Day

You must understand that the WGH is allowed to buy me jewelry from only one store: the Packers Pro Shop (PPS). Recently I had to include the caveat that he is forbidden from buying anything by Pandora, when the PPS announced they started to sell the ugly and expensive charms. Ugh! Every December I rant that not all women want diamonds or other jewelry for ‘insert holiday here.’ Valentine’s Day is just a candy holiday, so a simple heart-shaped box filled with chocolates is more than sufficient. Brian and I tell each other “I love you” every day (like this couple), so we don’t need a hallmark holiday to remind us to say it.

What’s more important to us is Gamemaster’s Day (GMs Day), celebrated on March 4^th. Usually during our RPGs closest to this day, we’ll have snacks to celebrate, and the PCs may bring gifts for the GM if they so choose. Brian and I attend Plattecon every year, typically convened on the first weekend of March (This weekend!), because UW-Platteville is where we met when we were college students. Every gaming convention has a dealers room, and Brian and I usually buy our GMs Day gifts to each other at Plattecon. One year he bought me a Duck of Gloom; another year I gave Brian more expansions for Mansions of Madness. In another blog entry, I’ll discuss our “no practical gifts” rule.

Critters Day Party

Every spring, we celebrate the birthdays of our feline and canine children with a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Once when a friend of ours took his dog to the same vet that we utilize, he overheard the staff discussing a couple that has a birthday party for their cats. Our friend laughed because he knew they were talking about us.

Independence Day Party

This started when our friends the Stewart Brothers came to our home on July 4^th many years ago, and we lit fireworks and watched Wimbledon. Now we host a barbecue where we provide all the meat (including vegan), some beverages, and some fireworks, and the rest is potluck. We try to keep the fireworks on the ground because we live a block from the local police and fire departments.

Anniversary vs. Thanksgiving

This year, our wedding anniversary is on a Monday. Wazoo. Plus, it’s our 24^th wedding anniversary. Wazoo. Our anniversary is not a big deal (See above re: saying “I love you” every day.). Case in point: the year we moved to our current house, we took off the day of our anniversary (it was a Wednesday that year), and spent the day in bed (the majority of the time devoted to actual sleeping). We’re thinking of doing something big for our Silver Anniversary, but that’s not until next year.

No, the major holiday to celebrate us and our family is Thanksgiving, despite the fact that we almost divorced our first married Thanksgiving (long story short: Brian taught me how to drive). We always have the day off, so now we stay home in our jammies, cook our own meal, and watch football (especially if the Packers are playing) or the Lord of the Rings Extended Editions. We also share our meal with our critters, who nap with us as we watch TV.

My Birthday vs. Life Day

I’m still a pink hatter, which means I’m not yet fifty and eligible to join the Red Hat Society. Unless the Packers play on my birthday again, we’ll probably go out for dinner at our local Nitty Gritty, then watch Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon II on Netflix. Seriously, that’s all I want to do.

I tried to commit suicide when I was fifteen (December 5, 1985) in a desperate plea for help. Since then, I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders and now am receiving the appropriate health care for these conditions. Now every year I celebrate Life Day (no, not from the hideous Star Wars Holiday Special, which despite being a SW geek, I never have seen) by watching the sunset, then going out for dinner. This year, I’d like to go to the Melting Pot if Riff Trax isn’t having a special live showing that night, as they have done previously with Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Curley Con

The WGH hits the big 5-0 in September this year, and the AARP already is sending him membership offers. We’re going to have a party at CC called Curley Con, which basically is a day of games, friendship, food, and celebration. Need I say more?

Pog ma thoin!

-Lori

“My lovely wife, Cristi, sought to get the perfect 3rd year anniversary gift. Consulting the Ms. Manner’s Guide to Geek Husbands, she found that a new graphics card is just the thing!” – Aaron Williams